Don’t be bullied by the Retail Monster

I think the solar eclipse that we experienced this past August 21 somehow re-adjusted our Earthly calendar because why else would Christmas be coming so early this year? That’s sarcasm of course because I KNOW it wasn’t the eclipse’s fault but how else do you explain the determination by the RETAIL MONSTER to force the holiday season onto the public even earlier than ever? The holidays are obviously coming sooner this year because I have witnessed holiday merchandise in the stores BEFORE HALLOWEEN. What happened to the unwritten rule of “after Thanksgiving?” This is egregious on so many levels, but let’s first start with how unjust it is to Halloween and Thanksgiving! Halloween had to share the retail space with “The Holidays” this year and that doesn’t seem fair. Remember Thanksgiving? This year we are just plowing over that holiday and sliding into Christmas and Hanukah. If I were the PR rep for Thanksgiving why I would be in litigation right now. By this new calendar, we should be celebrating New Year’s Eve sometime in early December. I refuse to be bullied by the Retail Monster. In the words of every five year old I have ever known…”You’re not the boss of me!” I am not letting you tell me what to buy or what to think or when I should start listening to Christmas music on the radio. (I recommend no sooner than 10 days before the holiday!) I’m not letting you tell me what the “10 best holiday gifts” are in your opinion. I think I know the people I buy gifts for a little better than you. The Retail Monster’s biggest day is definitely the Super Bowl of Revolting Consumerism – Black Friday. I actually stay home on that day. Black Friday is not the boss of me, either. I say we slow things down a bit. Give every day its due, enjoy each sunrise and sunset, relish each holiday and give it time to shine in Walmart’s center aisle and STOP RUSHING ME, damn it!

Shifting Gears

Years back my friend Lynn and I regularly challenged ourselves with long, arduous bike rides. In 2001 we tackled a three-day tour for charity that charted us a course up a mountain pass in Vermont and into the Lake Placid region, totaling more than 120 miles for the day. In those days we used to joke that it was hardly worth getting into our bike shorts for anything less than a 50-mile “workout.” We rode hard, we rode fast and we rode with a more competitive nature. We rode like something was chasing us. Now I know what that something was. It was age. And it ended up catching me, too, but you know what? I am totally okay with it! Fast forward to 2017. Lynn and I still ride together but anyone who knew us 15-20 years ago would not think we were the same riders. Case in point, one of our most favorite rides that we do here each year on Long Island’s East End takes us on a leisurely, scenic 40-mile loop that includes at least six stops along the way and they are not all for water. Long Island’s East End is dotted with vineyards that produce some of the best tasting wine in the country. This spring we experienced the most perfect, idyllic day of biking ever recorded in our personal histories. How fast did we go? It didn’t matter. How long did it take us to ride 40 miles? Hmmmm. Over four hours, maybe? We didn’t even look at the time. We rode, we explored, and we stopped when something interested us. Here is the itinerary for those of you who would like to duplicate the perfect day on a bike. On the car ride out there…stop at Briermere’s Farm on Sound Avenue for a blueberry muffin and look at pies. 9 a.m.- Arrive at Orient Point State Park. This is home base. It’s serene and has a great view of the Long Island Sound and nice bathrooms. 10 a.m. - Head out of park, stop to look at osprey nests and turtle crossing 10:30 a.m. - Stop at Lavender By the Bay down the road. Look at lavender fields, smell lavender. Chat with lady in gift shop. 11 a.m.- Continue west down Sound Avenue but get distracted by a side road that leads to Greenport and The Blue Duck Bakery Café. As long as you are there have a coffee and treat. Head back to main road and ride until the black top gets cruddy, then turn around. Take some photos. 11:45 a.m.- Arrive BACK at the Orient Point State Park and use bathroom, have a light snack, refill water bottles. 12:15 p.m. Head back to Sound Avenue and turn around again when the blacktop gets cruddy. 12:45-Loop over onto Lighthouse Road and go visit the Horton Lighthouse. Take more photos. Take a short nap on the benches. 1:30 p.m.- Head back east on Sound Avenue but turn off at Narrow River Road to meander next to the river and enjoy the view. 2 p.m.- Head back towards the park, but veer off to the Kontokosta Winery for a glass of red. They don’t mind people in bike shorts. 2:45 p.m. - Head back to the park and admire the view of L.I. Sound once again. 3 p.m. - Change clothes and eat lunch, take another nap on the beach. I think we averaged about 13 mph that day. But it didn’t matter. Because when I looked behind me there was nothing chasing me anymore. I only saw my best friend in front of me, the glorious, flat stretch of road in front of us and the bluest sky. ## If you want to visit these places... Briermere Farm- 4414 Sound Ave., Riverhead, NY 11901 Orient Beach State Park- 40000 Main Road (Route 25), Orient, NY 11957 Lavender by the Bay- 7540 Main Rd, East Marion, NY, 11939 Greenport, NY The Blue Duck Bakery Café- 130 Front Street, Greenport, NY 1194 The Horton Lighthouse- 3575 Lighthouse Rd, Southold, NY 11971 Kontokosta Winery- 825 North Road, Greenport, New York