Snippy young men and the Hot Dog Hooker

Opinion Lady has many questions. Last week Opinion Lady sauntered up to the Bobbi Brown makeup counter in Lord and Taylor. (No, not Whitney’s Bobby Brown, silly. The makeup Bobbi Brown) and purchased a $40 compact of “bronzer.” It seemed very important at the time. When Opinion Lady asked the nice young man behind the counter if he had any free samples, he gave her three tiny samples of “Extra Eye Repair,” a thick, pasty heavy-duty eye cream for old ladies with wrinkles! Not sexy green eye shadow; not The Beach cologne; and not even a lipstick for her thin, old parched lips. But a HEAVY DUTY EYE CREAM. Opinion lady thought about taking him by his little Lord and Taylor lapels and dragging him over the counter to say, “Look again Make-Up Boy. You must have meant to give this to a grandma.” But then when Opinion Lady calmed down upon arriving home, she put on her glasses and looked at the corners of her eyes in the mirror and said, “What a smart, kind Make-Up Boy he was!” because she saw that her face had taken on the appearance of dried, cracked mud in the Utah Salt Flats. Question; “When did this happen?” The Long island hot dog hooker also has Opinion Lady asking herself some questions. “Why does this Hot Dog Hooker have better self confidence than I? I want that self esteem that spills out of a hot-pink bikini top! ” That Hot Dog hooker pounds on her blubbery stomach and proclaims it a six pack! Opinion Lady would classify it as more of a “juice box” than a six pack. Hot Dog Hooker says she has “15 more years left” in her to do her thing. “Hmmmm. Perhaps Hot Dog Hooker Lady should do the above (see Heavy Duty Eye Cream story): Calm down; go home and put your glasses on; and then look in the mirror. Lastly, Opinion Lady thinks that people should stop chasing the Hot Dog Hooker Lady. There are bigger problems to worry about in this world and plenty of real perverts and weirdoes to be keeping an eye on. Granted, most of them are home watching porn on their computers, but Hot Dog Vendor Lady doesn’t need to be run out on a rail. What do you think?